The Annoying Interview

While I was in Germany, I got asked the strangest questions. Most of them revolved around my name and why I was able to understand german but not speak it. In most of the latter cases they would - by way of experiment - try to discover whether it was true. Apparently it was a source of some scepticism - that I would be able to understand them, but not communicate that understanding back to them in their own language.
No, don't worry, I am not going to make geeky software protocol references.
At any rate, the people from geemag.de asked me all kinds of questions about Obscure 2, but promised me that I would be receiving some additional "annoying" queries to spice the article up. Now I am not sure whether the questions below constitute any kind of unpleasant interrogation. Rather than that, I think they are a way for me to be even more vapid and tiresome than I usually am.

For non-german speakers, here's the interview (that was done in english):

Q: Thank you for taking the time to answer our questions. They are not meant to be taken too seriously. Don’t feel offended. Have fun answering them. Please introduce yourself.
A: My name is Jesse America, I am the Producer for Playlogic on the teenage survival horror title Obscure 2.

Q: In the game we will experience a hangover of one the characters. Please let us know about your personal worst hangover ever (and of course what happened in the night before) and – even more important – what’s the best cure for such a hangover.
A: My worst hangover was after I drank 7 Purple Leprechauns (really, it is a drink) in an irish pub in Calella, Spain. I blacked out and people claimed to have seen me wandering around the town and it’s beaches for 2 consecutive hours – which I can’t remember anymore. The day after was absolute hell. My head felt like part of my brain had been removed with an egg-scrambler, and without an anaesthetic at that. The best cure for that turned out to be a few beers – at 10 ‘o clock in the morning.

Q: There will be some minor drug use in the game and one of the students will experience a bad trip. Please let us know about your worst drug experience so far. And what about the best?
A: My worst drug experience would probably be that while under the influence of something I kissed a girl that looked pretty hot, but in reality – wasn’t. Quite the opposite actually. I actually never had a good drug experience (but mine are limited) and I guess this should be the part
where I say that kids shouldn’t do drugs. Don’t do drugs kids, seriously. It’ll get you killed. Just play Obscure 2 and you’ll see.

Q: Although Obscure 2 will be vanilla flavoured mainstream horror rather than disturbing hardcore horror à la Silent Hill it will scare some people. What are you personally afraid of?
A: Camels. They are terrifying. I am thinking of doing a horror game that features zombie-camels.

Q: Having sex in a teenage horror movie typically leads to death. Lucky us it’s different in real life (if you take the proper precautions). Still it can be a sensible topic – let us know about your most embarrassing sex experience ever. If you don’t want to talk about that you can revive the memories of your first time and share them with us instead.
A: For that I have to go back some 18 years. I vaguely remember a dark alley behind a discotheque, too much beer and a girl I hardly knew that wore the world’s most securely clasped bra. It’s all a big blur because of the alcohol, but what stands out in my mind was her sighing: not of passion or ecstasy, but of utter boredom.

Q: All the main characters in the game are stereotypes of American teenagers and their angst. What kind of teenager were you and do you have good or bad memories about that time? Which?
A: I was a total and utter dork. I played D&D, read and drew comic books and listened to hard rock. So I guess you could say that I was the nerd. My best memories of that time are that I didn’t care I was a nerd: I had fun anyway. The bad times were that I had a friend whose grandma continually sat on my glasses when I was over at his house and destroyed them utterly with her weight.

Q: In the game we will see monsters and supernatural phenomena. Do you believe in these things yourself?
A: Monsters, yes. I absolutely believe in monsters. They are all around us: just open the newspapers and you’ll see them. Serial killers, rapists, dictators, lawyers, CEO’s of big companies... Supernatural phenomena...hmm...I can think of the election of a certain US president that fits that description.